i found it hard to ever get any meaning from life. I think it's sort of what life is all about, this big blizzard of thoughts and ideas half grasped from life, only to slip away out of conscience ness. lately i've been questioning true character, and i think i can safely say that it is a theme for me. this "true character" or the true nature of things has popped up in my blog quite a lot and also in my last blog. so there be one. i don't know but it seems life just further slips into a dadaist dream. more on this topic later but despite this i felt

      this weekend that a spirit should contact me in the middle of the night when i put in my eyes and see infinity. they take me to the woods where we sit in the autumn leaves and watch animals illuminate the night with their eyes. and magic i felt this weekend, it was static, shaking and gentle. and i felt nature and nature felt me for once in a long time. things are happening! happening in nature and i couldn't escape the feeling of being extatic over them for some reason or another. i just felt happy that it was autumn. i don't know why.

i don't know why i don't question it anymore. everything just seems like it is. i just feel like my mind needs to reach out and grab a thought, something new and fresh.

spit! decipher that!