Currently Listening Knives Don't Have Your Back (Dig) By Emily Haines & Soft Skeleton see related

     it's fall and i'm sad for summer. i'm also a little sad for myself it scares me now in particular because it seems like time goes so quick. i also feel like i'm not so significant in my family. everything in my schedule is moved around for their convenience. it's so anoying for people who bitch about how i don't do anything i actually begin to get involved and they are angry. and as i described my last journal entry i'm actually getting to be left alone. i'm not sure if i like it or if i should even care. i've been quite indifferent so far to most of it other than the stuff that has inconvienienced me.

     i've actually been quite num lately seeing as though i've been taking 800 mg ibuprophen and percocet...just because i've been so fucking tired of my mouth being in constant pain...it feels like it's decaying. hah everything has confirmed to me that the mouth is a festering wound. perhaps it is if the only thing you spew out of it is this kind of crap. i think we're all aliens looking for answeres and once something is definite you look at it closer and it becomes more blur.

     on another note, i really detest my art class because i have to put up with other people's bullshit , they're worse than a knitting circle, talking about who they don't like. on top of that yestereday the teacher yelled at me for trying to complete a painting yesterday. it would have been ok if she would have told me before class (when i was setting up) instead of yelling at me in the middle of the class. and of course sum smart ass kid said "you should slap him" after i sincerely appologized..but it didn't come off as sincere seeing as though the whole circumstance was screwed up and i really didn't do anything wrong. besides it's basically "paint this flower" or us this packet to learn how to paint the "chinese " style water color. i didn't take a class to replicate, i came to learn. i haven't had to to do any other stuff since school started really, but it stinks cause i have a bunch of deadlines coming up for shows in october.